


The Long Night

by Herald_of_Dreams



Series: Star Wars Tales [22]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 19:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herald_of_Dreams/pseuds/Herald_of_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in 2006. Queen Apailana reflects on her position as leader of the Naboo during Padme Amidala's funeral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Long Night

_I am Queen, and I am alone._

I must remain calm, even as my people cry and release their anguish for Padmè. My face is painted white, and I feel the Scar of Remembrance on my lower lip as it trembles. I want to cry, but I cannot. I am Queen, and I must be the strength of my people.

Padmè's necklace is clasped in her hands, an expression of peace on her face and I resent it. She has peace, but she leaves us pain. She leaves me pain. She looks like she was happy, filled with joy at the rounding of her abdomen. The Jedi told us she was pregnant, and I wonder who the father was.

My makeup is blue, the color of sorrow, but I cannot express my pain. _I am Queen_. The words mock me. Padmè Amidala was the true Queen of the people of Naboo, and I am simply a ruler, not truly Queen and not the person we all grieve for tonight.

With every beat of my heart I can feel it tearing in two. I knew Padmè when she was still simply Padmè Naberrie, before she took the proud name Amidala as Princess of Theed, before she saved us from the Trade Federation. I adored her, and she was nothing but kind to me.

The queen before me named Jamillia walks behind me with Sio Bibble, Amidala's chief of state and advisor. Behind him walks Panaka and Captain Tarpals of the Gungans. Behind him walks Jar Jar Binks and several of her handmaidens, the ones that survived. But immediately behind me is Padmè's family. I can hear Jobal sob, and I long to turn around and comfort her. Instead Ruwee comforts her.

I am the strength of my people, but who will be my strength? Who can I lean on? Who will let me bury my head into their shoulder and cry? Nobody. I am Queen Apailana, and I stand alone.

Padmè's casket is placed on a bier, and the glass lid is closed. There she will remain, preserved throughout time, our beloved Queen and Senator. The flowers in her hair are the tears of our people, and I add one of my own, a large white lily native to my village home.

The jewel tears at the corner of my eyes slip as real tears brim up in my eyes, blurring my vision. Suddenly I cannot stand it anymore, and I burst into sobs. I hit my knees, blinded by the loss that has just hit me.

I will never see her smile again. I will never hear her gentle laugh again. I will never be able to look to her for advice again. I will never be able to look into her beautiful eyes again, nor turn to her for strength and wisdom.

A hand touches my shoulder, and I look up, my eyes red and blurry from crying. One of Padmè's handmaidens is next to me, I can't tell which one because they all have similar robes.

She touches my cheek, and I look into her eyes.

Sabè looks back at me, a melancholy smile on her face. Suddenly I realize that if any one person knows what I feel, it is she. Her loyal decoy, beloved friend and confidante. Her tears have stained her face, and she gives me a hug. Then she stands, puts her hood back up, and disappears into the group again.

I stand and look at Padmè's face. A smile touches my lips but never turns them up. I have someone who will be my strength again. It is only fitting that Padmè's most loyal friend has someone to lean on, and maybe I will be able to lean on her.

Then again, maybe not, for I am Queen _, and I am alone._


End file.
